Many young couples strive for cultural markers of security and stability: better houses, cars, bank accounts, and stuff. We’re told this is “the American Dream.” At best, we rarely envision the same dream of prosperity and security and should ask ourselves, “Whose dream is it anyway?” Disciples of Jesus Christ have a different dream to consider with a different focus. Followers of Jesus need to filter our thinking for what glorifies Him in the world and what ultimately best serves our good.
There is little alignment between how we uphold the gospel and our culture’s norms. A shining example of this is found in God’s view of money and possessions. Because the Lord would have our financial stewardship reflect spiritual growth. We can learn much about faith, grace, commitment, generosity, and God’s provision in the challenges of Bible-based discussions about giving. Working through these discussions and decisions can lead to stronger marriages that bond us to investing in eternity.
Beware of Life Built on Things
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with money, there’s something terribly wrong with devotion to it (and the stuff money draws our hearts into). Scripture says the “desire to be rich” portends our fall into a trap of temptations because loving money is fountain of all sorts of evils. We must discern the dangers of materialism and be set free to experience the joys of Christ-centered living, and stewardship. Jesus points out how deceitful riches can be, while the Psalmist warns, “Though riches increase, do not set your heart on them.” We have to conscientiously avoid the subtle, value-shifting nature of wealth.
There is deep wisdom in Jesus’ words, “There is more blessing in giving than in receiving.” Centered in His statement is a God-honoring theology of money. As kingdom-minded disciples with hearts full of God’s grace use money and possessions to fulfill the first and second great commandments, we store up treasures in heaven and take hold of life itself. Here we discuss simple principles to help you develop a lifestyle of stewardship that brings dividends both now and into eternity.
How much easier for young, just-married couples to make time taking walks, playing games, and reading together, then as income increases their priorities can shift. Money and possessions can take precedence over God, their church, their spiritual health, and meaningful time together.
Early in our journey together, we need to vaccinate our minds and souls with the truth that everything on earth belongs, first and last to God—and is given to us for His purposes. This lays the foundation for a biblical theology of money as well as the antidote to a lifestyle weighed down in marriage-draining materialism. There are studies and anecdotes that show connection between increased income and marital infidelity. Access to more money opens the door to greater temptations and sin, unless checked by a God-centered heart for faithfulness to biblical priorities. The issue isn’t how much we make, but how much we keep—and what we do with it. We should often ask ourselves, “What do I treasure?” The answer will show our heart’s devotion and where our values lay.
Giving Should be Priority
Commit to regular giving at your local church and then beyond that to missions and other ministries. Set an amount to give —not less than ten percent— and honor God with your first fruits Giving follows a grace-filled heart. When God’s grace touches you, you’ll want to give generously! Then, when God gives you more, be reminded how He desires your generosity on every occasion.” God prospers us to raise our giving.
If giving isn’t your habit, beginning can be a challenge. But it’s important to know, God is big enough to take care of you if you take a step of faith and return to Him a portion of what is His to begin with. Take an honest look at everything you spend money on, identify any unnecessary expenditures and find the room to give without causing your family loss.
If you and your spouse are not on the same page about giving, begin by extending a more generous spirit with your spouse and children—again without compromising family needs. Meanwhile, discover through many conversations, how and why you differ. You can both learn to find increasing joy in giving together.
Be mindful too that God desires that we do many good things with money that do not involve giving. See the money God entrusts to you as eternal investment capital for helping those around you to thrive. Every day is an opportunity to invest in shares of his kingdom!
Budget to Spend and Save Wisely
Because the long-term consequences of disagreements about money can be severe, it’s crucial to discuss and plan your way through life’s financial matters. A careful record of spending will show you where the money is going. Then determine where it should be going. When paychecks are deposited, direct cash into envelopes or folders designated for giving, housing, food, gas, utilities, entertainment, clothing, saving, etc. If we overspend in one area, we have to underspend elsewhere to compensate. This type of system teaches us the invaluable lesson that resources are limited. Balancing how much we give or use for needs, wants and saving presents a healthy tension. We can seek God’s guidance as we determine to follow his lead as best as we can.
If we believe that God created us, redeems us, and bring us through death to eternity with him, we can take him at his word when he says he will provide for our material needs. Jesus said, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,” and all other things, i.e., what you eat, drink, wear and shelter, will be given to us. We don’t need to worry about tomorrow. God already has both then and now well in hand.
Avoid Debt
Living under debt (except in manageable amounts, such as a mortgage payment that’s well within your means) is ultimately deadening to the soul—and to a marriage. It is always unwise to live above your income. Inevitably, it will produce conflict in your marriage.
Trusting God is believing He will take care of your needs. When we walk into debt, we often do so in pursuit of wants, not needs. Scripture cautions us against indebtedness. The broad principle from Scripture, rather than prohibiting debt, directs us to leave no debt outstanding. We are obliged to pay any debts as soon as possible. Some face situations where, after prayer and evaluation, debt seems unavoidable. Yet, in such cases, nothing is wiser than giving first to God, cutting back expenditures, and systematically paying debt off aggressively.
A home mortgage is often considered an acceptable form of debt. It makes sense, and a case can be made for borrowing to buy a reasonably priced house instead of renting. However, many aspiring homeowners burden themselves with a house note that goes well beyond their budget or means. To assume a large mortgage that depends on dual incomes is very risky. Trying to keep such a house overlooks the risks of unanticipated changes to finances or compromises to convictions about how you may want to order your home when children are born.
A Word about Credit Cards
Some use credit cards for convenience, paying off what’s owed on every statement to avoid interest. This approach has advantages, but also drawbacks because convenience of having a credit card always risks liability—and temptation. Consider these prudent guidelines:
- Use credit cards only for budgeted purchases.
- Pay off credit cards every month.
- The first month you cannot pay the bill in-full, destroy the card, pay it off, and don’t replace it.
Be Free to Enjoy Life to God’s Glory
As believers within a materialistic culture, we should embrace lifestyles that free up money to promote progress of the gospel and human thriving. This doesn’t mean money and possessions are inherently evil. Our God gives, freely and lavishly, pleasures and comforts for us to enjoy.
Even while the children are very young, keep having date nights. One of the best gifts to your children is a strong, sustained marriage. Make it a priority to date your spouse—keep it on your schedule and in your budget. Because God gives us all things richly to enjoy, we should feel no guilt for enjoying his provision in one another. He doesn’t expect us to live like prisoners or paupers, never feasting or celebrating life. He entrusts to us money to care for our needs, others’ needs, and to find opportunity to take pleasure in the life He’s given us.
Invest Together in Eternity
How many Christians store up their treasures on earth? How many end up “backing into eternity,” while facing their earthly treasure in the shrinking distance? Christ calls us to set our eyes and hearts on Him—and behold our true treasure. We can hardly get everything right, but with God’s help, we can commit to storing up greater treasures in heaven than on earth. Put and keep Christ in the center of your marriage and finances. The eternal payoffs will forever bring you joy, and the Savior glory!